I had my first son at 27, a little more than a year ago. It was an accidental pregnancy during the pandemic. I never thought I wanted to be a mom and rolled my eyes at all of the people who suggested I would change my mind or how amazing it was to be a mom...blah blah blah I used to think. I am so relieved that I was wrong-motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I’m a naturally selfish person by nature specifically when it comes to my time. I’ve never been the type of person who naturally caters to anyone else’s needs. My grandmother, a baby nurse for 31 years and the kindest most genuine person I know even counted me out from motherhood “I just don’t think it’s your thing” she said and I agreed. I’m not even a good aunt-I have always bought them things to make up for the time I didn’t want to give.
Fast forward to now, and I’m a great mom and I love being one. Something strange happened when I brought my son home, I naturally found myself catering to this tiny human that ironically looks nothing like me-I’m Puerto Rican and have a dark complexion but my son was born with red hair, pale skin and beautiful blue-green eyes. He wasn’t cute when he was born-I’m not supposed to say that but I don’t care. Actually, he didn’t get cute until he was about 6 months or so-but I didn’t care I loved him anyways and I always will. Another shocker-I was pleasantly surprised at how “easy” being a mom is. I know I’m new and will likely have plenty of time to retract that statement in time, lol.
Modern feminism has a habit of not only telling women they can have it all but subtly suggests that they shouldn’t want it “all” and by all I am referring to motherhood. Career and education is prioritized over family and that’s applauded by our society. Motherhood has become something that elite culture suggests we should not pursue if we don’t check off all of these boxes first. Additionally, it’s implied that if you don’t get around to having a kid that it’s no big deal-you’re not missing out on much they say “it’s so stressful and you’ll save so much money and can travel the world.”
To me, this is another part of nature that modern feminism seems to dismiss: a woman’s biological instinct and satisfaction that comes with being a mother. This is years of evolution at work-and modern feminism dismisses the prioritization of having a family and thinks less of those who do so. Therefore, we have a generation of women who are missing out on one of life’s most innate and primal joys of life.
Side note: I like how even though you don’t have kids you write fondly of motherhood and do not speak superficially about the pregnancy experience. I love and appreciate the work you are doing to educate the next generation of women.
Most babies aren't cute when they are born. They are ugly and gross, for the most part. I'm glad to hear a parent admit that lol.
I always suspected that if I actually had kids accidentally I'd like the experience and of course love my child/ren. But was so adverse to the idea I never tried. I'm happy and don't regret it at all, but also am aware that if things had gone differently that would have been ok too :)
I had my first son at 27, a little more than a year ago. It was an accidental pregnancy during the pandemic. I never thought I wanted to be a mom and rolled my eyes at all of the people who suggested I would change my mind or how amazing it was to be a mom...blah blah blah I used to think. I am so relieved that I was wrong-motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I’m a naturally selfish person by nature specifically when it comes to my time. I’ve never been the type of person who naturally caters to anyone else’s needs. My grandmother, a baby nurse for 31 years and the kindest most genuine person I know even counted me out from motherhood “I just don’t think it’s your thing” she said and I agreed. I’m not even a good aunt-I have always bought them things to make up for the time I didn’t want to give.
Fast forward to now, and I’m a great mom and I love being one. Something strange happened when I brought my son home, I naturally found myself catering to this tiny human that ironically looks nothing like me-I’m Puerto Rican and have a dark complexion but my son was born with red hair, pale skin and beautiful blue-green eyes. He wasn’t cute when he was born-I’m not supposed to say that but I don’t care. Actually, he didn’t get cute until he was about 6 months or so-but I didn’t care I loved him anyways and I always will. Another shocker-I was pleasantly surprised at how “easy” being a mom is. I know I’m new and will likely have plenty of time to retract that statement in time, lol.
Modern feminism has a habit of not only telling women they can have it all but subtly suggests that they shouldn’t want it “all” and by all I am referring to motherhood. Career and education is prioritized over family and that’s applauded by our society. Motherhood has become something that elite culture suggests we should not pursue if we don’t check off all of these boxes first. Additionally, it’s implied that if you don’t get around to having a kid that it’s no big deal-you’re not missing out on much they say “it’s so stressful and you’ll save so much money and can travel the world.”
To me, this is another part of nature that modern feminism seems to dismiss: a woman’s biological instinct and satisfaction that comes with being a mother. This is years of evolution at work-and modern feminism dismisses the prioritization of having a family and thinks less of those who do so. Therefore, we have a generation of women who are missing out on one of life’s most innate and primal joys of life.
Side note: I like how even though you don’t have kids you write fondly of motherhood and do not speak superficially about the pregnancy experience. I love and appreciate the work you are doing to educate the next generation of women.
Most babies aren't cute when they are born. They are ugly and gross, for the most part. I'm glad to hear a parent admit that lol.
I always suspected that if I actually had kids accidentally I'd like the experience and of course love my child/ren. But was so adverse to the idea I never tried. I'm happy and don't regret it at all, but also am aware that if things had gone differently that would have been ok too :)
Thanks for sharing your experience!