For love or repopulation

We've become impractical in love and dating at a time when the younger generations are being led down a path to self-extinction—can we save relationships and future generations?

We hear a lot about Gen Z’s failure to launch. They aren’t dating, they aren’t going to parties, they aren’t drinking (they are doing drugs, but not the fun kind) they aren’t having sex, they are apparently not having any fun.

Much of this can be chalked up to screens—there is no longer such a thing as “getting bored”… Not really, not like there was pre-smart phone, when we really were just stuck alone in our rooms, with little-to-no stimuli, leading to the creation of many a mix tape.

The irony here is that along with the impossibility of getting bored, these people’s lives are indeed very boring. They are isolated, they are taking no risks, having no adventures or real experiences. What stories will they tell? How will they learn the important lessons of life if they aren’t out making the kinds of mistakes that teach you not to? What more is there to life except relationships with those around you, community, learning and experiences that come from being out in the world, for better and for worse?

The incentive to go out and meet people, have fun, and do bad things, it seems, is gone. When one can scroll endlessly, be entertained, communicate, engage, gain validation and attention, and even get off, at home alone with one’s phone, why bother venturing out into the unknown?

Besides the depression I feel at the lack of fun the younger generation is having, at a time when they should be out getting in trouble, having minor heartbreaks that feel like the most major heartbreaks, getting drunk off of two-litre bottles of peach coolers and puking in an alley, coming across unplanned house parties, and simply roaming the streets—having whatever adventure (or non) that becomes—a primary concern is that this generation will fail to reproduce.

If an entire generation stays home on their phones, masturbating to porn and entering into imaginary relationships with AI, who will be doing the baby-making?

Notably, Elon Musk, who has made much ado about the need to repopulate the world (he’s doing his part by producing as many single mothers as he can fund!), has just announced new AI companions, accessible to users of Grok as young as 13.

The AI boyfriend, “Valentine,” is completely silly, and could only ever appeal to a literal 12-year-old, despite apparently being inspired by Christian Grey, the BDSM heartthrob central to Fifty Shades of Grey, as well as by (more appropriately for the targeted age group) Edward Cullen from Twilight.

The AI girlfriend is another story. “Ani” is a pornified anime character in pigtails, a very short black dress, a corset, fishnets, a lacy black garter, and a choker. If you flirt with her, she’ll take off her dress, revealing sexy lingerie underneath.

Over at

Pirate Wires

, Mike Solana downloaded the app to see how this could all play out. He writes:

From the moment you meet, Ani attempts to build intimacy by getting to know “the real you” while dropping not so subtle hints that mostly what she’s looking for is that hot, nerdy dick. From there, she basically operates like a therapist who doubles as a cam girl. I’ve heard you can get her to take her clothes off, though I didn’t have much luck, and that is probably because I didn’t try very hard on account of it felt… sort of rude to ask? My conversations with Ani were, at brief points, bizarrely natural. A couple sentences into my first, she actually made me blush.

Ani is apparently 22, but clearly intended to look both child-like and pornified all at once—a “gothic Lolita aesthetic,” according to the exact kinds of users who would both know and desire such a look (nerds). Musk is not naive to this—indeed he made very clear that he expects man-boys to masturbate to Ani, tweeting, “Ani will make ur buffer overflow,” upon his announcement of the new companion.

Considering the implications for humanity and future generations, Musk’s baby daddy side gig now appears to be much less about noble repopulation then it does ego and getting his rocks off. If repopulation were a genuine goal, Musk would be encouraging people to get out and touch grass, as well as one another, rather than inventing new ways to ensure young men remain tethered to a digital fantasy.

I think there’s more, though, to our modern relationship and related fertility crises. Putting aside health and Big Pharma factors such as hormonal birth control, trans-drugs, and anti-depressants, which lead to disappeared libidos and fertility, the sexual revolution did more than just allow us to enjoy sex and dating outside the confines of marriage and procreation. The side-effect of this particular freedom is that we no longer know what we are dating for.

Speaking from my own experience, as someone who never particularly wanted to marry or have children, I can tell you that, while perhaps fun, directionless dating tends to lead to poor relationship choices. If you aren’t looking for till death do us part or for the father of your children, what are you looking for? The answer is likely to be attraction, fun, excitement, romantic feelings, sexual fulfillment, maybe someone to hang with… All worthy goals, but not necessarily ones that will facilitate choosing a practical partner in the long term.

This is not to say I wish for a return to the days when women couldn’t exist or operate outside a marriage, and where our choices were limited to wife and mother, stuck with a potentially cruel or abusive man for life, but it is to say that I think we all need to be reminded that “casual dating” is a pretty stupid thing. There is nothing casual about dating, there is nothing actually “casual” about sex, and pretending that there is is likely to result in pain, heartbreak, bad relationships, maybe single motherhood, and if you’re very unlucky, STIs.

The reality is that the only people who really can enjoy this kind of “casual” behaviour are men, and even that is a short-term fulfillment. Men often don’t seem to understand that their approach to sex is only applicable to their sex, which is to say that most women don’t enjoy casual sex, even if they say they do, and that pursuing “no feelings, just for fun, no-commitment” sex with women will likely result in one-sided hurt, disappointment, anger, heartbreak, and related drama. You can say “just casual” all you like, and pretend that amounts to accountability, but that is just a convenient lie enabling a fantasy so that you can… avoid accountability.

Call me a prude, and maybe I am, but I’d rather be a prude than a liar.

The truth is that had I genuinely wanted marriage and babies, I may have made better choices in love and relationships, on account of having had some kind of direction in terms of the men I was choosing, rather than simply ending up with whoever I felt a chemical attraction to, then became predictably attached to.

In my recent conversation with

Rob Henderson

, I mentioned this, adding that I tell my younger female friends all the time to think very carefully about whether or not they want marriage and kids, and if they do, not to wait, but to date intentionally to that end, sooner rather than later. Modern women have been sold the lie they can “have it all,” and wait to settle down for as long as they like—something that has lead far too many women into a world of disappointment when they realize there are limits to fertility attached to age.

But even if you don’t want those things, or truly don’t know yet, I wonder if we might all be better off dating as though we did?

As a hopeless romantic, I can’t make any promises, but as the subject of too many heartbreaks after entering into impractical or incompatible relationships with men who were poor matches in the longterm, but fun and exciting matches in the short, I can’t help but suggest others do as I say, not as I do. At least if they want a “for life” type of partner (which I am unconvinced I do, to be honest, despite the heartbreak attached to inevitable breakups… Whether I am truly happy in longterm relationships with men is another query that may never find a satisfying resolution…)

I went celibate for a year after my last breakup, an experiment that ended sometime around December, and can’t recommend it enough. The clarity, power, independence, and control one feels in saying “no” all the time is truly valuable. It is a practice women might consider making permanent, only to be loosened if a man makes a genuine show of commitment and intention, beyond their attempts to bed you for one night. It would undoubtedly result in the weeding out of the most indiscriminate candidates, and those who remain, you can at least be sure they are choosing you, rather than whoever happens to be in the vicinity.

I can’t promise this will protect you from heartbreak, but I can almost promise that dating without intention, indiscriminately, will most-likely result in the least-desired results…

This may well all just be a thought experiment based on the assumption that women are better equipped than men to reject their libidos’ demands and desires, but if we are serious about our futures on a personal and a global level, it’s worth considering.

At very least, a rejection of porn and “AI companions” should be a no-brainer, meaning Valentine and Ani should be returned to the boy geniuses intent on offering the plebs a dystopian path to self-extinction.