On being nice to men in dresses

Do we have a duty to politeness to the gender critical transsexuals?

I have said, many times over, something along the lines of “wear what you like, feel how you like, have your preferences, but leave the rest of us out of it.” What I mean by that is that, while I am not necessarily ok with people wearing their fetish gear out in public, I do think that if a man prefers a skirt that is fine. If a man enjoys femininity, fine. If he struggles with his sexed body, I am sorry to hear this, but it is not my problem to resolve. I don’t need to validate your feelings, your “identity,” or your fetish.

I do not have a problem with “gender non-conformity.” I am “gender non-conforming.” Few who know me would describe me as particularly “feminine.” I have lived my life in ways unconventional for a traditional woman. I love men’s clothes. Most of my shoes are men’s or unisex. I am usually dressed like a 15-year-old boy from 1986. I don’t wear makeup most days. I burp constantly. I drive a big old truck in Canada and a janky old quad in Mexico. I like dogs more than babies. I swear like a sailor. I am not passive, particularly nice, or nurturing. I am not needy, and I am extremly independent. Historically, my boyfriends have nurtured me and done most of the cleaning. I am not defending or not defending this. It’s just how it is.

I am the last person anyone needs to lecture about accepting “gender non-conforming people.”

The recent controversy that broke out about a “man in a dress” attending the Genspect conference in Denver earlier this month was not, though, about women rejecting gender non-conforming men. It was, as

Heather Heying

articulated well over at her Substack, as well as in our live stream embedded above, about a man who is very open about his autogynephilia, bringing his fetish to a conference purporting to challenge gender identity ideology.