Sex strike!

The libs have discovered radical feminism and are pretending like they need it

Back in 2020, I learned about the “4B movement” after publishing an article about it on my website, written by an academic studying South Korean feminism and a young Korean radical feminist. The concept made sense to me in the context of a country where porn culture and misogyny dominate, with rampant sexual violence and men installing spy cams to film women in private spaces, with little consequence, and where young women had come to see little benefit in marrying men who don’t treat them with respect.

Again, as a foreign concept, ok. In practice, it seemed very unappealing to me.

Separatism is not a new concept within radical feminism. Especially popular with lesbian feminists of the second wave, the idea was to create female-only communities, wherein women were allowed boundaries around how and when they interacted with men. It wasn’t seen so much as a punishment of men, but as an effort at autonomy, as well as of course protection from male predators and abuse. Michigan Womyn’s Festival (Michfest) is probably one of the more successful examples of the separatist attempt to carve out women-only space in the modern world, naturally destroyed forever, after 40 years, in the great transing. Other attempts have been made in the form of women-only land, bookstores, cooperatives, and transition houses for women escaping domestic violence. One of feminism’s great achievements was the creation of woman-only space, both for political organizing as well as to provide safety from men (again, mostly destroyed, thanks to trans activism and its funders).

I support the practice of separatism in certain contexts — less so as a lifestyle — because, well, I like men. The idea of going to a woman-only festival seems deeply yuck to me, as I imagine dreadlocked folk singers, vegan food shared on paper plates I had to stand in line to fill with lentils, tea drinking, and full moon circles led by some fattish lady in a batik muumuu.

I have interviewed and read the work of many a lesbian radical feminist in my day, and while I could never quite get past the personal horror at the idea of existing in some kind of attempted feminist utopia, I support the efforts of those who like that sort of thing.

I consider these practices relatively harmless to broader society. The women genuinely invested in living a female-only life are few and far between, and such spaces and communities cause far less threat to men, families, relationships, and the repopulation of the species than dating apps and porn addiction do.

All that said, the 4B movement is a bit more extreme. The “B” in 4B translates to “no” (“bi” in Korean) — the “bis” being:

• no sex with men

• no giving birth

• no dating men

• no marriage with men

As someone familiar with feminist separatists, I can tell you that those most committed are always (perhaps obviously) lesbians. Surprisingly, it’s very easy to reject sex with men, dating men, marrying men, and giving birth if you aren’t attracted to men. Most other claims of separatist aims are temporary and short-lived.

Which is, of course, what the American libfems announcing their discovery and adoption of their own version of the 4B movement are engaged in — really, just a fad.

I went on my own version of a man strike this past year, which I referred to, more truthfully, as a “man break.” Having left an abusive relationship about a year and a half ago, I wanted to avoid entering into another bad relationship and therefore rethink my approach to hooking up and dating, but also I was just… happy… And didn’t want to ruin that by adding a man to my life (sorry men). I had a very nice year! I did what I wanted to do, focused on work, friends, the gym, having fun — living my life, in other words — stress-free and without being dragged down by the annoyances of a relationship and waking up to another person’s BS in my house.