Stop trying to make online hate a thing — it's not a thing

The impact of 'online hate speech' is overdramatized, and governments are using it to their advantage.

Ever since social media platforms like Twitter became the primary vehicle for public discourse and so-called activism (I cringe thinking about how hard they tried to make “hashtag activism” a thing), much has been made of “online abuse.”

Hang-wringing around “cyber violence,” “online hate,” and “abuse” — mostly rooted in racism and misogyny — began to take root as a central concern for feminists, liberal media, academia, and progressives in around 2016. And indeed, misogyny, racism, and general nastiness and harassment abounds online. But it’s not the problem many make it out to be.

I have been a woman online for many years now — specifically, a very controversial woman. I have experienced more online harassment, threats, and “abuse” than most people I know. I have never been “protected” from this, nor have I demanded to be protected. I rarely reported misogynist or violent tweets directed my way, and when I did, it was only out of principle — not because I truly felt threatened or fearful. I wanted a record of what was ignored by moderators, and what apparently did not constitute “hate” as per Twitter rules. I was not afraid of tweets.

The reality, as I’m sure most of us know, if we are honest, is that the mean or hateful things people say to us online are really just words. They are not genuine threats — they just aren’t very nice.

I have experienced genuine threats, and those really are scary. People have threatened to show up at my events, in person, and perpetrate violence. I have spoken on panels where we got bomb threats. I have had to have large police presences at most of the my talks in Canada, where even the cops seemed nervous, rushing me off the moment my talk ended, refusing to allow me to speak to the media, offering me a blanket to cover my head and face as I left through the back at the Toronto Public Library, where the entire block had been cordened off so I could leave safely. People have attacked me verbally in the street. People have thrown drinks at me. I have truly and genuinely felt scared and unsafe, both walking around in my community in Vancouver, where I lived for most of my life. In 2019, I was followed around my neighbourhood by trans activist and past BC NDP VP, Morgane Oger. I have long had to have private security and bodyguards with me at all of my events. I have been doxxed — actually doxxed. As in my address posted online, publicly.

This is scary.

I did not feel safe living in Vancouver. I did not feel safe walking around that city alone. I was very recognizable, and there were numerous violent trans activists living there, supported by local progressives and political parties. These people left graffiti reading “Fuck TERFs,” alongside disemboweled animals outside a women’s shelter storefront. They brought a cardboard guillotine reading “Step right up, TERFs and SWERFs” to one of my Vancouver events. We know that groups like Antifa, who have also shown up to my talks, perpetrate real life violence on people who they believe have “wrong” politics.

This is scary.

But you know what isn’t scary? Someone calling me a bitch or a cunt on the internet.

“Online hate” is not a thing. Not in as much as we need to be protected from it. That is what the “block” tool is for. Or the “delete your account” tool. Or the “close your laptop and go outside” tool.

Lest I sound glib, the targeted campaigns against me, which have been fairly routine since around 2015, when hundreds of progressive activists spent months trying to have me fired and no-platformed at rabble.ca, a lefty Canadian news site where I worked part time as an editor, and which hosted my writing and podcast. I nearly had an emotional breakdown then. It was exhausting, stressful, painful, and, at the time, felt mildly traumatizing. Not only was my job being targeted, as well as my reputation as an independent writer and journalist with no financial or job security, but my co-workers and employers did not support me, clearly saw me as a burden and a threat to their relationships with these activists, and wanted me gone themselves. Rabble.ca was connected to and funded by the labour movement and the NDP (Canada’s provincial and federal leftist party), and many of my co-workers and their activist counterparts relied on unions and the NDP for jobs and funding. It felt like almost the entire left — the movements and parties I’d supported for my entire life — hated me. Most of them did. And on top of it all, I was prevented from discussing the attacks on me and the experience I was going through publicly. I couldn’t even defend myself, as my employer went through its own process of detemining whether or not I was a hateful bigot.

A debate raged among Canadian leftists and feminists about whether or not I should be cancelled, and that debate went international in the years that followed. Men and women alike have worked to cancel me ever since. Ironically, these men and women have primarily been progressives and feminists. That’s right — the very people who claim to now be living in fear that Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter will result in intolerable, dangerous levels of “online abuse” and “hate” are the people who have said the most repulsive, misogynist, hateful things about me, over the years — a socialist and feminist who determined only very recently that I wanted nothing to do with these camps of disingenuous, cult-like people who present themselves as defenders of the most vulnerable, marginalized, and voiceless, but expend most of their energy working to silence others, spreading hate, and ignoring the plight of actual vulnerable, marginalized people.

Most will be familiar with the way I have been targeted as a “TERF” — that is to say, a woman who understands what the words “male” and “female” mean. I was one of the only feminists in Canada to speak out against Bill C-16, what became Canada’s gender identity legislation, testifying against the bill at the Senate in 2017. In what became a consistent trend, the person most commonly recognized for having opposed that bill is Jordan Peterson, who challenged it in the context of compelled speech. For whatever reason, he has declined to acknowledge that I stood up against Bill C-16, in defense of women and girls’ rights, and that feminists have been fighting trans ideology and activism longer than most. While I appreciate and agree with Peterson’s challenges to the language attached to gender identity, and forcing individuals to use “preferred pronouns,” I remain ever-annoyed that today, it is men who are credited by many on the right with being brave enough to say things like, “men are not women” and “men cannot become pregnant.” In fact, it was feminists who fought this early on — with no financial or institutional support, while being physically attacked in some cases, with almost no platforms — fired, banned online, deplatformed, erased by the media, and vilified by their leftist “comrades.”

This is in part the fault of the media, who wished to frame the debate as one of “left” vs “right,” and feminists who opposed gender identity legislation did not fit that framework. But the fact that no one would heed feminist warnings, and now demand to know where we were, is maddening. Too many continue to ask, “Where are all the feminists?” Well, we got banned, ostracized, libelled — even punched. That’s right —the threats women experience on account of being labelled “TERFs” have extended beyond “mean things said online” into real life.

Yet, I oppose efforts to curb “online hate speech.”

Of anyone, we are equipped to say “online hate” is not a thing. At least not in the way the woke activists, claiming to be terrified of speech, pretend it is.

The most overt misogyny, racism, and harassment online actually comes in the form of pornography, which platforms like Twitter and Instagram continue to allow, despite their oh-so-serious concerns about the safety of “women” and marginalized groups. It is truly amazing how much pornography exists on these platforms, considering that pornography is supposedly not allowed, and that pornography features the most virulent racism and sexism imaginable, never mind violence, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. Somehow, Twitter seems able to keep women like me — independent feminist writers — off their platform, but not graphic pornography.

If these platforms truly cared about racism, sexism, abuse, or harassment, you would think they would stop allowing prostitution and pornography to proliferate. This reveals political and financial motives, not a desire to protect. These companies are very clearly invested in protecting something. But it’s not marginalized groups.

You would think it would be women like me: women subjected to routine harassment, threats, and abuse, on account of my years of work fighting for women’s rights, that companies like Twitter would want to “protect.” Instead, I am positioned as the enemy — perverted, porn-addicted men the victims of my “hate” and bigotry. And to be clear, I do not want protection — not online. Real life threats and violence and persecution are another matter, but “online hate”? Please. Grow a spine. Get some boundaries. Be real.

I simply don’t believe those who bang the drum most loudly about “online abuse” or “hate” truly do fear “hate speech” on the internet. I think they fear not being able to control the words that come out of other people’s mouths. They fear being challenged. They fear the holes in their mantras and tweet-threads will be revealed, and that they will be revealed as charlatans.

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The Canadian Liberal government is currently working to push through an online hate speech bill that would allow the flagging of content as “hate speech,” and demand platforms remove the content within 24 hours. Bill C-36 defines “hatred” as an “emotion that involves detestation or vilification and that is stronger than dislike or disdain.”

Do you have any idea how many people hate me on the internet? How many people hate so-called “TERFs”? How many people routinely advocate for the persecution of, for violence against, for the death of women like me? So-called “TERFs”? Look at the speech JK Rowling was subjected to simply for acknowledging that women are real, that males and females are different, and that women’s sex-based rights matter? Speech that Twitter did not, apparently, find “hateful.”

These regulations and laws will not be to our advantage. Do not fall for this shit.

Those working to stop “online hate” are not actually invested in stopping hate. Not the woke activists, not the social media companies, not the Canadian goverment, not even the feminists. They want either to stop critical speech, or to protect their own, in the way they wish to be “protected.”

Yes, it would be nice not to be threatened online. I would love that. But also, this the internet, and I don’t have the time or energy to chase around the endless stream of crazy or unhappy people who tell me and women like me to drink bleach. And I am sick of people who have been subjected to far less than I — whose careers, livelihoods, and physical safety has not been threatened in any serious way, on account of their political views — demanding they be protected.

The internet is not always a fun and nice place. That’s why you should leave it as much as possible. But it’s also why you need to be realistic about your expectations online, develop healthy boundaries, grow a thick skin, and get used to using that block button. Also, hey — if you don’t like Twitter, don’t use it.

The effort to tackle “online hate speech” is a lie, as evidenced by what is allowed and what is not. According to Twitter, and likely the Canadian government, it is not hateful to say that men are not women. It is hateful to tell someone you are going to kill them, unless, apparently, that person is a “TERF.” Sending a woman misogynist pornography is harassment, yet social media is so full of pornography it’s unavoidable. It is not “harassment” to refer to a man “he,” yet Twitter considers this a bannable offence. Can we trust Instagram or the Canadian government to determine actual harassment and hate? Clearly not. We already have the law, which says one cannot threaten or perpetrate violence or genocide, or stalk, or harass. Child pornography is illegal. Speech is not illegal. Or should not be, in any case.

If we are honest with ourselves, we know that most of what passes for “online abuse” is not truly threatening. And those of us who have been attacked online know this better than anyone. So stop trying to make “online hate speech” happen. Twitter is not your mother and the Canadian government is not your babysitter. If being online triggers you, go outside.