Why I'm so petty
I could be more gracious about Ana Kasparian's "leaving the left" debut, but I'm not. Here's why.
I am aware that I need to be more gracious. Instead of focusing on what others are doing and thinking, I should be focused on my own work, energy, and behaviour. I should be more empathetic, perhaps. Less judgey (but what fun is that?) Stoicism offers us a correct approach to life, I think, in helping us understand that we really can only control ourselves, not those around us, and wasting energy trying is fruitless and potentially toxic.
BUT. Of course a but.
My preference is actually naivete. I would prefer to believe that everyone has good intentions and acts with integrity. The unfortunate truth is that, in this “business” (media, I suppose, is what you might call it), this is mostly not the case. And I think what I’m realizing rather late in the game is that this is because, for most, people see this “business” as a business. They see social media, writing, an audience, a podcast, a YouTube channel, a platform, etc. as a means to power and profit. And so their choices reflect this.
I’ve often struggled with kicking myself over not approaching my work as a business and a means to climb up into wealth and power — why I am letting others succeed where I might? But the truth is, as I’ve explained to my followers before, it has never felt right to me. I don’t want to approach my work with the algorithm in mind, for example, because that approach corrupts your work. I don’t want to chase clicks or clout, because that shapes your aims and inevitably impacts what you produce. I don’t want to be led by what will profit but by what feels right.
My big mistake is assuming this is how others function in this space, when the truth is that most don’t. Maybe that makes them smarter than me, but either way, I don’t respect it. And so I complain about it ad nauseam, perhaps in a way that is tiresome to those watching.
I noticed myself doing this yet again in response to the Ana Kasparian “Leaving the Left” story that has been making its way around the internet of late. I watched myself doing the thing I thought maybe I should refrain from doing, or at least appearing to be doing: talking shit.
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