Your fear of fun is killing me

This anti-drinking trend is depressing and it's not improving your life

A clip of Diary of a CEO host Steven Bartlett went viral recently, wherein he told Chris Williamson that having a couple glasses of wine ruined three days of his life.

“It's one of those areas where you don't understand the hidden cost until you really give it up for a while,” Bartlett explained to the Modern Wisdom host.

“I stopped drinking at 30 years old. I'm now 33. When I was 31, I thought, I'll have a drink again because now I could really A/B test it. I had a year of not drinking, decided to have a drink again… It ruined three days of my life. I had a couple of glasses of wine, didn't get drunk. It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused. I got worse sleep that night, and then because I got worse sleep that night, I ate more poorly the next day because my dopamine system or whatever, the cortisol system was all messed up. I podcasted worse. I didn't go to the gym that day or the day after because I felt really bad. I then slept worse, and I could track all of this on my Whoop”

Luckily, most of the internet responded by calling him a pussy, but this perspective is not exactly marginal. Williamson told Barlett that, “If people look at it closely, they’ll realize they’re using alcohol as a bit of a crutch.” He offered an example:

“If you take alcohol out for about six months, what it forces you to do is think, do I really want to go to that party? I’m actually having to anesthetize myself of the people that I’m around. Like, if you can only bear to be around your friends when you’re drinking, that’s probably not a good indication. And if your friends only want you to be around them when you’re drinking, they’re not friends, they’re drinking partners.”

I don’t know, man. Would I want to go to any party if there was no alcohol? No. That’s why I’m not at your baby shower. Would I even ever go out past 8PM if there wasn’t wine? Obviously not. Do I want a life that ends at 8PM and doesn’t include parties? Obviously not. I’m not sure that’s “anesthetizing myself” so much as it is wanting to have a fun time instead of a boring time.

It’s also not my friends’ fault night activities are more fun if there is booze involved. I still like them, booze-free. But do I want to spend hours with them, sitting around and chatting, until 4AM over coffee? Not really. The reason night activities are more fun with booze is that booze makes night activities fun. You really gotta stop overthinking this one.

Trying to bully us into not drinking by convincing us we are flawed for wanting things to be fun instead of dull is weird. But the more common tactic operates via the “health” angle. Podcasters like Andrew Huberman have been harping on this for some time, telling us all drinking is horrible, even moderate drinking. “Zero is better than any,” he repeats. “It is poison.”

Honestly, there is no point in arguing with these kinds of people, because what they are saying isn’t provably untrue. I’m not going to defend boozing by claiming it’s good for my health. But frankly I don’t believe that these guys are vilifying alcohol because it’s “unhealthy,” I think they just… don’t like alcohol. They don’t enjoy its effects, either during or after consumption. They don’t like how it makes them feel. In some cases the anti-alcohol fanatics are ex-alcoholics, and so naturally they had a poor experience with boozing, leading them to believe all experiences with alcohol are like theirs: bad. They also need reasons to stay sober, and viewing booze as the scourge of the earth is good way to do that.

Here’s the thing. This is all a you problem—not a me problem. I don’t care if you don’t like drinking. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. But pretending as though it’s the worst thing you can do, health-wise, is bullshit. And wringing your hands over “alcohol dependency” in social situations is silly. Alcohol has been used for many thousands of years because people like to get loose, and because it facilitates celebration, dancing, singing, laughing, connection, and, yes, sex (gasp). There are far worse vices that offer no joy or fun or singing or sex at all. See: anti-depressants and TikTok.

I know what you’re going to say.

It’s poison, Meghan! Alcohol destroys lives! If you need alcohol to have fun, you’re an alcoholic.

First, I don’t care.

I don’t care about all your “science” that says alcohol is bad for me. I don’t feel bad, I feel good! And that is how I judge my “health.”

This is, in fact, how we should all judge our health. The amount of people who walk around this world feeling bad, but lacking any curiosity in terms of figuring out why they feel tired, depressed, nauseous, low energy, headachy, dizzy, or constipated is odd to me. They rely on their doctors to tell them whether they are healthy or not, but don’t question whether their doctor really has any idea, nor do they question whether or not prescriptions, which are generally all doctors are good for (or referrals to other doctors), are actually good for them either. Imagine taking a bunch of pills with a bunch of side-effects that make you feel bad, but trusting they are in fact “good” for your “health” because your doctor prescribed them. For your health.

The number one gauge of how healthy you are should be how you feel. If you feel bad, you should try to figure out why, and address that. It may well be as a result of the pills you are taking, as prescribed by your doctor. Or it could be because you aren’t getting enough sleep. Or it could be because you need to exercise. Or eat some pineapple. Maybe a steak. Have some water.

But if you feel good and happy, and your life includes drinking, I consider what your doctor or Andrew Huberman says about it irrelevant. It’s your body and mind, babes.

Second, yes, alcohol can 100% destroy lives. If using alcohol is leading you to destroy your or other lives, you should avoid it. If not, who the fuck cares.

In general, if you like a thing and it’s not extremely unethical and it’s not hurting other people or you in very serious ways… whatever? Nothing in life is perfect, including us, and we must weigh the pros and cons of our choices all the time. Do I like candy? Yes. Should I eat it daily? Probably not. Is it ok to eat it sometimes? I don’t know, sure? I’m not interested in a life of perfection, but rather a life I love that is relatively good and healthy but not at the expense of fun. I don’t take sleeping pills or SSRIs and I eat enough protein and fruit and I go to the gym and I try to get sun on my skin sometimes and I don’t have an unethical job and I’m not abusive to other human beings or animals and I drink raw milk and have lots of friends that I like and get enough sleep and so I think it’s ok for me to eat candy sometimes.

I guess if you find that every time you drink something bad happens you might consider not drinking alcohol. Or, if every time you drink you feel bad in general, you might not want to do that anymore. But what other people think about how you feel or should feel is their problem.

Third, alcohol is fun. That’s why people drink it. “Needing alcohol to have fun” is missing the point. Like, ok, some things are fun without alcohol. Just… not that much fun… Going out to the bar with your friends and being stupid and laughing and dancing and singing and talking shit is more fun with alcohol because alcohol accommodates those things. It loosens you up and makes you happy and silly. That’s… why people drink it. If it doesn’t make you happy then don’t drink it. If you have more fun sober, that’s great news. Be sober. Have fun. But accept that other people are not you. That is indeed what being a grown up is about. Accepting that some people are not like you and like different things than you and have different experiences than you.

The truth is, I don’t think this modern anti-alcohol trend is about “health” or what’s good for you. I think it’s about people not knowing how to have fun. And about having forgotten the importance of fun. And about some people trying to control their lives in extreme ways because they are afraid to leave anything to chance or to take risks.

We see this in Gen Z, as described by Freya India, who recently spoke to me about how girls and young women nowadays are afraid of things previous generations looked forward to: socializing, parties, learning to drive, love, sex, relationships…

On the weekend, an X user named Andrew Yeung announced, “Clubbing is dead and has been replaced by fitness & wellness.”

Literally kill me. I’m not a fan of “clubbing,” per se, but the fact that young people would choose a “running rave” over going out to party is the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard. Yeung explains:

“People used to party to socialize and date but now they do things like HYROX, bathhouses, and running raves. The death of clubbing is something to be studied: US has lost 12% of its nightclubs in the last 24 months—25% of US adults didn’t drink at all last year—Gen Z drinks 30% less than Millennials did at the same age On the flip side: According to Strava, the number of running clubs recorded on the platform increased 3.5x in 2025. 72% of Gen Z go to run clubs to meet new people. Sauna and spa market: $11.8B → $22.4B by 2034. The post-alcohol economy is gonna be a massive category.”

“Gen Z is swapping happy hour for a workout,” a post on Instagram explains.

“Alcohol use among young adults has dropped to record lows, according to studies from Gallup and Ipsos. At the same time, gym memberships and wellness routines are booming, with 73% of Gen Z using a studio or fitness space. More than half say they’d rather work out than drink—a major shift in how this generation views free time.”

Is the younger generation really this lame? How did we come to a place where doing things just because they’re fun, regardless of possible health benefits, isn’t worth it, in and of itself?

The claim is often made that Gen Z is skipping the bar in order to “prioritiz[e] health, mental clarity, discipline, and long-term growth.” Another post on Instagram announces: “This is the era of self-improvement, self-awareness, and self-respect… This generation is swapping hangovers for healing and numbing for growth… Young people aren’t ‘boring.’ They’re just tired of cycles that lead nowhere. They’d rather work on their mind and body than escape it for a few hours.”

Good god. Shut up. You are boring. This is mind-numbingly boring.

The irony of all of this is that the younger generation isn’t happier than we were in the 90s and aughts, drinking and smoking our way through life. Their mental health is worse, not better. Today, young people are reporting the highest levels of misery of any age group. Research shows those aged 12 to 28 “were found to be more prone to feelings of despair and anxiety than other generations at the same age.”

So, why are they doing all this? Why reject drinking and clubbing and socializing if it’s not making their lives more enjoyable? One could argue “health,” but a key aspect of “health” is… wait for it… happiness!

I think what has been forgotten by too many is that the key to happiness lies in friendships, relationships, community, and a social life—things that have long been found at the bar. Not only at the bar, of course, but it is undeniable that ye old pub has for ages been a gathering place for friends and neighbours. One’s “local” has always been central to the community. They facilitate face-to-face connection—the very thing so many are lacking nowadays.

You can point to science all you like, showing that wine is bad and run club is good, but just because a thing can’t be evaluated scientifically as beneficial, health-wise, doesn’t mean it isn’t good or worthwhile. And even if it can’t be argued that drinking is “good” or “worthwhile” it still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

You should do things you like. You should also do things you don’t like. Balance is the way. Work, exercise, relax, do some chores, see friends, have relationships, have sex, go outside, walk your dog, go to parties, go to the bar, read a book. Nice, right?

Obviously if all you do is just one of those things your life is probably going to suck in one way or another.

As a seasoned bar star, who has been partying for well over half her life, I can tell you that it will neither ruin your life nor kill you. I feel good most days, and am happy and healthy. Meanwhile, I know a ton of people from high school who never go out, look and act about 60, and seem deeply depressed. They complain of being tired constantly, of their bodies aching all the time, and behave as though their best years are behind them—fun and adventure being just a relic of days gone by. Would going to the bar help? I don’t know. Maybe? Some wine with friends at dinner? Probably.

I like life, I like meeting new people, I like to chat, I like seeing my friends, I like singing songs, I like flirting, I like making jokes, I like listening to music and dancing. I’m not ready or willing to shut it down because I feel a bit dehydrated after a night out.

Life is not black and white. You can be healthy and also drink wine. You can go to the gym and also go out on Friday. You can get enough sleep and also stay out late on the weekend. You can hydrate on Monday.

Live a little. You’ve only got one go at this.