Your self-worth is not American Eagle's responsibility

If you don't like yourself, that's a you problem.

In the midst of the Sydney Sweeney is aware she is hot and that her hotness can sell jeans moment, we have what feels like a return to the days of yore—the heyday of feminist blogs and hot-taking and cancel culture that peaked in around 2015, demanding for most of the decade that followed that everyone be represented and told they were beautiful and special and hot and stunning and brave despite being none of those things.

Some TikTok chick in a towel (who is not unattractive in appearance per se, though I can see how her personality would be offputting) feigned annoyance at being forced against her will to “weigh in” on Sweeney’s apparently controversial American Eagle ad campaign, wherein the company plays on the word “jeans” to imply the actress also “has great genes,” which she does.

“Genes are passed down from parents to offspring,” Sweeney explains sexily, “often determining traits like hair colour, personality, even eye colour.” Sensing yet another opportunity to defang the word “Nazi,” the wokes of yesteryear rose from the grave, to announce, “This is literal Nazi propaganda.” One X user asked,”Did they mean to include a bunch of Nazi dog whistles in this?” MSNBC published a headline claiming the ad was a sign of an “unbridled cultural shift toward whiteness.” And on TikTok, a self-described “brown girl” @payalforstyle said, “Take my name if it meant I could wake up blonde-haired and blue-eyed, never having to explain who I am or worry about being accepted.”

“That is why this American Eagle ad with Sydney Sweeney is especially offputting” (it’s really not… may I again interest you in the word “projection”?), Payal (who is so gross and ugly and oppressed she’s managed to amass 310.7K followers) says.

“I can’t help but think about the 13-year-old girl who gets all of her denim at American Eagle, who already struggles to see her beauty and worth in a world that continues to value white, eurocentric beauty standards, which I naively thought at this point we would have moved the needle on. And this girl is now wishing she too could wake up with blonde hair and blue eyes. It took me so long—too long—in my life to look in the mirror and see beauty, and I hate that that continues to be a shared experience for young brown girls in this country.”

Girl. Grow the fuck up.

First of all, the idea that it’s necessary for you and the world around you to see you as “beautiful” is idiotic. No one is obligated to find you attractive if they don’t. Second, “beauty” shouldn’t be your primary source of self-worth—if it is, you are in for a sad and pathetic life full of insecurity and self-doubt, because there are always going to be women who are more beautiful than you and also you are going to get old.

The level of self-absorption from these identity-addicted types is just beyond. Are you so completely self-centred that you are unaware of the fact that almost every single girl in this Western culture grows up thinking she is not beautiful or sexy enough, and actually that she is horribly flawed and maybe disgusting? Are you unaware that we all, as girls, grew up wishing we looked like ______ model or actress? That we wished our hair was different, our skin was different, our facial features and height and weight and boobs (or non-boobs), and even our personalities were different? This is life as a pubescent girl in North America.

There was nothing about myself I found “beautiful” as a kid or teenager—I was too skinny and bony, I thought my nose was too big, I had no boobs or hips, I was too pale, I thought my feet were too big, why didn’t I have green eyes, my knees were too pointy—you name it, I hated it.

Do you really believe that growing up white means we never struggled with our appearances and self-confidence?? This is probably the most universal experience girls have. And then we grow up. A thing Payal has apparently not yet done.

Imagine being a full adult and still obsessing over not being seen as “beautiful” in your youth (or now!) If you are truly that insecure and self-hating, and still dwelling on feeling not-beautiful as a gangly 13-year-old, the problem is not the culture, the problem is you.

But beyond that, America really is a very diverse place, and brown girls, black girls, white girls, and all the rest are all viewed as hot if they are indeed hot. Just ask Tribe Called Quest, who like ‘em brown, yellow, puerto rican, and Haitian. Men are very inclusive when it comes to hotness!

Ironically, I can imagine this chick insisting she doesn’t care if men find her hot or not, though obviously this is what this is about. Who are you demanding think you’re “beautiful”—your mom? The cashier at Target? American Eagle execs? The rappers clearly have you covered.

Here is the great thing about being an adult woman: you like yourself. You should have, by about 30, gained a solid sense of self that includes your own version of style and charm and vibes that are attractive to other people, in large part because you are comfortable with and like yourself and know how to take care of yourself. If you haven’t, you are likely to be unattractive to other people as a result. Really! Not knowing and liking yourself is very unattractive! So is being unable to take care of your own appearance and health.

Of course there are physical features that are going to impede attractiveness, but those things have next to nothing to do with “white, eurocentric beauty standards.” We do not live in a world wherein “people of colour” are viewed as unattractive simply on account of not being pale. We haven’t in eons, and to claim such a thing in a country that adores something named “Doja Cat” (nevermind Rihanna and Cardi B and whoever the fuck I am unaware is on trend now—honest-to-god I do not want to know) is stupid beyond belief.

No one is against you; Sydney Sweeney isn’t hurting your chances of being hit on by dudes; and American Eagle ads are not responsible for your sense of self-worth—you are. The world is not a perfect one—you are not entitled to feel good about yourself, to like yourself, or to “feel beautiful.” And if you continue to put the responsibility of self-worth on external sources I promise you will never find it.