What's a man doing on Instagram anyway?

It's time to delete your account.

My belief is that Instagram is on its way out. Following in Facebook’s footsteps, which went the way of the dodo many years ago, Instagram’s algorithm has become both too sensitive and too full of crap I never want to look at. That said, I continue to use my private account to stay in touch with friends and post photos of my dog and my karaoke songs in my stories (you’re welcome), and use my public account for work.

When I open the app, I rarely see anything I’d like to look at, but rather see endless posts about avoidant men and cakes. I suppose this must be the information my brain provided the algorithm with, in terms of my interests, but I really don’t need to see 20 posts a day about why I need to cut this man loose because he’ll keep me anxious and miserable for all eternity just so he can feel in control, nor do I need to look at videos of cakes I am not eating.

Instagram has always been a feminized activity. Women like to post selfies in order to feel validated as attractive, whether or not they are, and also because women like astrology, a thing Instagram is rife with. (To be fair, I do enjoy a good moon post, telling me about how I’ve finally learned all my lessons and am now ready for my new chapter.) Men, on the other hand: what are you doing here?

The Discourse from the Manosphere tells us that all women are whores, with body counts in the unacceptable-for-marriage-to-a-17-year-old-gamer range, who really only want your money, anyway. The truth is that most women are not gold digging whores, though you wouldn’t know it from looking at your feed (men).

That’s right! You, men, have created a nightmare for yourselves. You created an algorithm full of whores, who feed your porn addictions, and now you believe this is reality. You flooded your feed with thots, then complained that all women do is thot themselves.

It’s wild to me how many Manosphere men will insist that women are allergic to accountability when, um, well, ahem….

An easy way to develop a more positive and realistic view of women would be to get off the apps, get off the porn, and get out into the real and regular world. And while I would offer this advice to anyone, it is men in particular who leave me wondering, what are you doing on Instagram, anyway?

Seriously? What kind of respectable, masculine man (who isn’t a podcaster) is on Instagram, scrolling through his feed or (god forbid) posting photos (god forbid) of himself?

It’s bad enough when women post their stupid faces on the internet, as if we don’t all read it as a desperate plea for attention from some fucktard who’s liking a bunch of other chicks’ butt photos at the same time, but what are you doing putting your face on the internet? What are you, a full adult, doing liking posts on the internet? Are you going to post something on your feed? Stop.

I will allow a dog story. Maybe a caught fish story. I guess. If it’s a really big fish. I don’t even know about that. Does the fish need to be on the internet? I’ll admit I like surfing videos. I will allow you to promote your work or business or a product you are selling. But if you are just you—a lone man with an Instagram account, without a clear purpose—I think your time has come. I think it’s time to choose dignity and delete that app. We all know you’re just using it to hook up with women and look at porn. In which case, I would like you to know that everyone knows and thinks you are embarrassing.

You’re welcome and Godspeed!