Jul 18 • 1HR 16M

An ex-john opens up about buying sex and why he became an advocate against the sex trade

On the podcast, I speak with Gene McConnell, an ex-porn user and sex buyer whose work today focuses on helping men build healthier relationships with themselves and with women.

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Appears in this episode

Meghan Murphy
Meghan Murphy and guests embrace authenticity, and have real, honest discussions about culture, politics, relationships, internet wars, the media social justice, cancel culture, and more. Conversations outside the algorithm.
Episode details

Gene McConnell is an ex-john. At one time in his life, he had a porn addiction, was paying for sex regularly (while married), and even attempted to sexually assault a woman. Gene stopped himself, but the near-attempt and consequent arrest forced him down another path, towards dealing with his past trauma and related sex, anger, and emotional issues, as well as towards a life of talking to other men about his past, how he changed his life, and what was at the root of his exploitative behaviour and dehumanizing view of women. Today, he tours college campuses, speaking to young men about pornography and prostitution, is the founder of Authentic Relationships International, is a youth pastor, and is married with three children.

I found Gene through a documentary film produced by Exodus Cry called Buying Her. He is featured in the film among a number of ex-johns who speak candidly about what they did to women in the sex trade, why, and how it impacted their life and the lives of others.

In this episode, we talk about why he began paying for sex, why he stopped, and what he learned.